There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
