do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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