soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
