I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
