i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
