What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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