just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
