I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
