we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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