Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
