That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
