i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
do herpes really smell.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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