Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
