i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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