I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
