Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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