I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
