he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
