Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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