..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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