dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
