Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
