I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
