I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
