I am puke
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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