what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
