Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
