please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i've created a new STD.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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