its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
