eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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