..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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