I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
