It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
