That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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