i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
