OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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