I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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