did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
