dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
they're like a gay fantastic four
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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