i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
