I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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