I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
