So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
