So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
