I'm really into asian looking animals
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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