He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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