Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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