New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
