i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
