okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
