what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
