shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
